Tomas

“I was a porn producer ready to end my life, crawling to the bathroom past a 30-foot mirror, when a stranger I'd met twice prayed over me and my heart changed like a switch had been flipped.”

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What they struggled with

Sexual addiction Shame Serious illness / cancer Suicide attempt Relationship breakdown Anger

False refuges

Achievement / fitness Power / status / wealth Online fame / audience Sexual behaviour

What this story reveals about God

Relentless pursuit Patience Mercy Restorer Father's heart Shepherd's heart

Religious background

Protestant Christian

Main testimony theme

Secondary theme

How they came to faith

Supernatural encounter Relational influence

God accusation

God allowed this to happen to me

Content advisory

Before you watch

This testimony contains frank descriptions of the porn industry, steroid abuse, a collapsing marriage, suicidal ideation, cancer, and above-the-knee amputation. What makes it worth watching is not the darkness but the precision of God's intervention — every door closed, every plan cancelled, a stranger sent at the exact moment Tomas was ready to end his life.

What this story teaches

People can be at the absolute peak of worldly success — money, fame, physical achievement — and be simultaneously emptier than they have ever been. The hunger never stops escalating. And God can use the collapse of everything a person worshipped to create the only opening they would ever accept.

How God moved

The lie Tomas carried

I have to take my life into my own hands because God's not going to do anything to help my family.

What Jesus showed him

Tomas had built his entire identity on his body, his money, and his sexual performance — and when cancer stripped all three away simultaneously, he was left crawling on his belly past a 30-foot mirror, a shell of a man who had nothing left. The highlight reel during Lex's prayer showed him every moment he had chosen the world over God's purpose for him.

Go Deeper

There are a lot of people who are in those moments, in those instances where they think, I'm too far gone. I'm too bad. I've went too deep into sin. I'm not redeemable. Maybe God is good. Maybe he helps other people, but not me. I'm too far gone. And that's just not the case. That's just not the case. Not only is that not the case, but heaven celebrates. Heaven celebrates the lost sheep returning home, the prodigal son. Heaven celebrates. Jesus leaves the 99 for the one for the one lost sheep. And that's me.

People can be at the absolute peak of worldly success — money, fame, physical achievement — and be simultaneously emptier than they have ever been. The hunger never stops escalating. And God can use the collapse of everything a person worshipped to create the only opening they would ever accept.

What you can take from this

This week, identify one area of your life where you are trusting your own ability to provide rather than God — and tell someone about it. Tomas's breakthrough came when he stopped performing and admitted he was crawling.

Progressive entrapment

What was supposed to be anonymous, occasional, and just between us became full identity exposure, multiple collaborators at once, $50,000 weekends, and me telling my wife I wanted to divorce her to pursue a solo porn career. Every line we drew, we crossed within weeks.

Identity theft

I was so full of vanity and pride because of what I did. I truly thought these things made me better than other people. Any good quality I had — kindness, empathy — was withering away. I was referring to our customers as cockroaches. I was a shell of a man.

Spirit of death

I was ready to un-alive myself. Everything that I identified myself with was just being stripped away from me quickly. My wife had even hidden things in the house because she knew things were getting really really bad for me.

Family weaponisation

My wife was having to allow me to have sex with multiple women in front of her in order for us to make a profit. We had to turn our hearts cold. We had to kill our sense of morality before doing those things. It was slowly destroying my marriage.

Core lie

I had to take my life into my own hands because God's not going to do anything to help my family. I thought people are going to watch porn anyway, somebody's going to make it, so it might as well be me. I convinced myself we were doing the right thing.

1

He made me get down on my knees and dude put his hand on my forehead and was praying... at the end of the prayer he's like 'Thomas will you accept Jesus right now as your savior' and I did.

2

I repented detailedly. I repented for all the sins, all the sins that I had committed in my career, for all the adulterous sins, for the disrespect that I had done on my wife, the betrayal that I had done. I said a deep long intense repenting prayer in front of her and with her.

3

I apologized to her and asked her to forgive me... she forgave me just right there on the spot. She forgave me and just chose to. And I told her that from this moment, I don't care what happens to me.

4

We both got on Instagram and we made a post and we signed out. We don't — that was the very last time we used those names. We said 'We are officially retiring from this industry. We will never go back to it. Everything we post from this moment out is going to be about Jesus and about spreading the gospel.'

5

I'm a worship singer at my church in Princeton called Heart and Soul. I serve voluntarily at my church. I'm leading small married groups at church sometimes. I'm heavily involved. My son is heavily involved at my church. My wife is heavily involved in my church.

Matthew 12:43–45

Tomas cited this passage to explain how he and his wife, newly dabbling in church, were spiritually empty and vulnerable to the enemy filling that space with the porn industry.

Matthew 9:9

The Chosen scene of Jesus calling Matthew the tax collector became the sign Tomas and his wife prayed for — confirming they should abandon their career and follow Jesus.

Luke 15:11–32

Tomas explicitly identified himself as the prodigal son — the lost sheep rescued, heaven celebrating his return.

Matthew 18:12–14

Tomas referenced Jesus leaving the 99 for the one lost sheep as describing his own rescue.

Matthew 19:24

Host referenced the camel and needle verse when discussing how money had been Tomas's god and a stronghold.

Tomas explicitly identified with Matthew — compromising his people for money, hated, empty — and was called to abandon his lucrative career instantly to follow Jesus.

Tomas explicitly called himself the prodigal son and the lost sheep — squandering everything, returning broken, and being celebrated by heaven.

Tomas described himself as a shell of a man, crumbling, his body wasting away — then suddenly alive again the moment the Spirit moved.

The accusation

God allowed this to happen to me

What they said

“Why have you cursed me with this life? From the moment I was born, from being a child, I've experienced nothing but hardships and trials. Why me, God? Why?”

How God answered

During the prayer, Tomas felt the Holy Spirit communicate that God had been with him always, shared in his burdens, had a purpose for him, and that the suffering was a result of his own choices — not God's abandonment. 'I've been there with you always. I've had a purpose for you.'

Resolution

Fully resolved in testimony

Tomas's Christian Walk

Marriage fully restored — wife forgave him and recommitted the same morning he prayed. Wife also rededicated her life to Jesus. Healed from rare cancer after amputation. Stopped steroids completely. Conceived a second child after years of steroid-induced infertility — wife showed positive pregnancy test one month after coming home from hospital. Son Tyson became a prayer leader at church.

God changed my heart and he changed my mind in an instant. This previous life that brought glory to me has withered away.

steroid addiction — 'I just threw them in the trash and stopped taking everything'; suicidal ideation — from the moment of conversion he no longer wanted to end his life

The steroids, the porn industry, the vanity and pride, the addictions — 'these addictions are not going to beat me, this previous life that I've lived, it won't beat me.' Set free from suicidal ideation, from a destroyed marriage, from infertility caused by steroid abuse, and from the cancer that was consuming his body.

Prayer

The power of Prayer — stranger and barber named Lex stood in the gap for Tomas.

Lex, a gym trainer and practicing barber Tomas had met only once as a stranger, came to Tomas's house to cut his hair for free on the worst day of his life. As he was leaving, he insisted on praying over Tomas despite Tomas's refusal — making him get on his knees, placing his hand on his forehead, and praying for approximately 90 seconds. At the end he asked Tomas to accept Jesus as his Savior. Lex later told Tomas he had never done that before in his life and felt strongly called by the Holy Spirit to do it. Tomas's wife Haley also served as a secondary bridge — she had returned to church and was quietly interceding for Tomas during his darkest period, hiding weapons in the house out of concern for his safety.

Is today your day?

Yes — I'm Ready

Absolutely, He will.

You don't have to figure everything out right now.

You don't need to have all the answers.

If something stirred in your heart while you were watching or reading — that's not nothing.

That is the Holy Spirit gently knocking on the door of your heart.

Stay right here. There's no rush. The Spirit doesn't pressure or hurry.

Watch another video. Read a little more. Take your time.

When you're ready — even if “ready” just means a little curious — Jesus is ready to meet you.

You don't have to clean up your life first.

You don't have to pass any test.

You only need to say a simple “yes” to Him.

He will take care of the rest.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Luke 11:9

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