Rodney

“I grew up without a father, was choked by my stepfather, sold drugs, and was present at a shooting — and then at 17, alone at the front of a church camp, rivers of living water came out of me and I knew exactly who I was.”

Subscribe to the featured channel

Enjoyed this testimony? Subscribe to the channel and consider supporting their ministry.

What they struggled with

Father wound Gang involvement Drug addiction Sexual addiction Pornography Shame Anger Childhood domestic violence Relationship breakdown

False refuges

Drugs Pornography Rage / violence Sexual behaviour

What this story reveals about God

Relentless pursuit Father's heart Patience Restorer Defender Forgiver

Religious background

Protestant Christian

Main testimony theme

Secondary theme

Deepening Faith

How they came to faith

Supernatural encounter Relational influence

Content advisory

Before you watch

This testimony moves from childhood violence and fatherlessness through street life, drug dealing, and pornography addiction into a marriage nearly destroyed — and then into a supernatural encounter that changed everything. What makes it worth watching is Rodney's unflinching honesty about the shame that followed him into ministry, and the moment God told him to pray for the man he wanted to destroy.

What this story teaches

People who grow up without fathers don't just lack a parent — they lack a template for identity, and they will fill that vacuum with whatever the street, the screen, or the crowd offers. God understands this and meets people exactly there, not after they've cleaned it up.

How God moved

God spent years working on Rodney in the background — through a praying mother, a friend's invitation, a stranger's two words, a camp in Texas — without Rodney knowing any of it was coordinated. He doesn't announce himself; he just keeps showing up. And when the marriage was falling apart, God was giving other people dreams to protect it while Rodney was oblivious. That is what this testimony shows: God fights for people who don't yet know they're worth fighting for.

The lie Rodney carried

I'm insignificant, not valuable, not seen — and I have to earn approval, acceptance, and validation through toughness and street credibility.

What Jesus showed him

Rodney carried a fatherless boy's wound his entire life — a deep void of identity, approval, acceptance, and validation that he tried to fill with street credibility, toughness, gang belonging, and sexual conquest. The Holy Spirit at a youth camp broke through that void and showed him he already knew who he was and who he belonged to.

Go Deeper

If you continue hiding, if you continue living the life of secrecy, you're going to lose everything that matters most to you. Whether that's your relationship with your family, your wife, your finances. God already knows. God isn't afraid of your mess. He isn't afraid of your brokenness. He leans into your brokenness. Being exposed to pornography at the age of six, living a life of sexual immorality, carrying pornography addiction into my marriage — trust me, I get it. But that's why God, when he revealed to me the reality of who I really am, once I began to get in agreement with God as to who I really am, that's when I saw my life change. If you still think you're filthy, you're going to live a filthy life. If you still think you're unholy, you're going to live an unholy life. If you think you're insignificant and you're not valuable and you're not seen, you're going to live a life consistent with those truths. But when you understand you are righteous — meaning you are accepted, you are approved, you are validated, not because of anything you've done, but because of everything Christ has done on your behalf — and when you put on that reality and that identity, your desires will begin to change. Find a brother who's been through that fire and they've come out on the other side and they have no shame in their game about helping you.

People who grow up without fathers don't just lack a parent — they lack a template for identity, and they will fill that vacuum with whatever the street, the screen, or the crowd offers. God understands this and meets people exactly there, not after they've cleaned it up.

What you can take from this

This week, identify one thing you are hiding that is slowly costing you what matters most — and tell one person who won't run from you.

Core lie

Deep search for identity from childhood — 'Who am I?' I was looking up to drug dealers and OGs as the men teaching me how to be a man. I wanted to be the tough guy, the gangster, the drug dealer. Everything about it felt right even though I knew deep in my heart it probably wasn't.

Progressive entrapment

Exposed to pornography at approximately age 9-10 through stepfather's unmarked tapes. That was something that was planted in me. Boom. It became a form of escape and a coping mechanism. I wrestled with it even into my marriage — on her laptop watching pornography, trying to erase the history.

Shame spiral

Shame and guilt and condemnation was just bombarding me. I was failing in my teens and now I'm failing as a husband. That's why I'm such a big righteousness guy — because I know the dangers of shame and guilt and condemnation and what it can do to a human soul.

Unnamed entity

My wife was even having dreams that I would abuse her — I would just be in a rage or I would be angry and then I would just beat on her. I hate the devil because of the domestic violence my mom and my dad both experienced. I didn't want anything to do with that.

Family weaponisation

While I was working night shifts, a guy at my wife's job was adamantly pursuing my wife. He knew I was a youth pastor. He saw a room of 100 kids. He was messing with the wrong family — he was messing with the family that truly belonged to the Lord Jesus.

Spirit of condemnation

My mind started to drift to a dark place. That old Rodney, that fleshly Rodney started to come back. I was thinking about how am I going to get this guy — am I going to do this to him, where am I going to do it at. I was going down this road — you disrespected me to the highest level, you must pay.

1

I raised my hand and I remember him telling me to come up to the front and I didn't know what was going to happen but then he told me we're going to lead you to the Lord. I walked up and he led me through that prayer and I meant every word.

2

Before I even realized what I was doing, I was getting up out of my seat and I was walking to the front. I lifted my hands. I felt that urge to say something. The third time it came back around — open your mouth and speak — and rivers of living water. I just began to speak in other tongues.

3

I came clean and I told her about how I got exposed and how much of a struggle pornography and masturbation and just really sexual immorality was for me.

4

Delete her number right now. So deleted her number, blocked her. She was still trying to reach out to me but at least I opened the door.

5

I took my wife out on a date. I told her reluctantly just everything that happened.

6

Father, I just thank you for this dude, man. And next thing I know, my heart started to open up and forgiveness. I tell people it saves you. It's like that forgiveness reached down and rescued me as I prayed for him.

7

I walked up. I grabbed her by the hand. We walked up to the front. We both knelt and I prayed for her. I prayed for us. You could just feel that spirit of heaviness lifting off of us.

8

My dad, the man that I was disappointed with, the man that I even at times hated — forgiveness is not just something we do. It's who we are. It's a lifestyle. It's supposed to be who we are. We are forgiving, loving people. And so now I got my dad back in my life.

John 7:38

Rodney described 'rivers of living water' flowing when he spoke in tongues at the camp altar call.

Luke 15:11–32

Rodney explicitly called his moment sleeping under apartment stairs and returning home a 'prodigal son moment.'

Ephesians 2:8–9

Rodney quoted Paul: 'we received you by grace through faith and we will continue to walk this life by grace through faith.'

Colossians 2:6

Rodney quoted 'as you have received Christ, so walk ye in him' in his closing prayer.

Psalms 106:8

Rodney referenced 'he rescues us and saves us for his name's sake' in his closing prayer.

Rodney explicitly named his moment sleeping under apartment stairs and returning to his mother as a prodigal son moment — same awakening, same return.

Rodney spoke in tongues spontaneously with no hands laid on him at a youth camp altar call, directly paralleling the upper room outpouring.

A young man running hard from God, suddenly arrested by the Holy Spirit and transformed — identity completely reoriented in a single encounter.

Rodney described feeling darkness lift and knowing his identity for the first time — dead bones of fatherlessness and shame brought to life.

Rodney's Christian Walk

Marriage of 16 years restored after near-collapse through pornography and emotional affairs. Completely left street life and drug dealing. Relationship with absent father fully reconciled — father gave his life to Jesus and is now present in Rodney's life and in the lives of his grandchildren. Four children raised in a two-parent home with both grandfathers present — a generational break from his own fatherless upbringing.

I could literally feel the darkness just coming off of me. I know who I am. I know who I belong to.

His marijuana high left instantly during worship — 'my high left. Boom. I was sober.' The darkness lifted at the camp altar call: 'I could literally feel the darkness just coming off of me.'

Being exposed to pornography at the age of six, living a life of sexual immorality, carrying pornography addiction into my marriage — that's why God, when he revealed to me the reality of who I really am, once I began to get in agreement with God as to who I really am, that's when I saw my life change.

Prayer

The power of Prayer — praying mother stood in the gap for Rodney.

Rodney's mother prayed on her knees for him for years — he would come home at 1 or 2 in the morning thinking she was asleep and find her calling his name before God. She also called two police officers to speak to him when she felt she could no longer reach him herself. Later, his friend's mother paid $500 to send him to a youth camp in Houston, Texas, picking him up every Friday for youth services — she is the bridge who placed him in the room where the Holy Spirit encounter happened.

Is today your day?

Yes — I'm Ready

Absolutely, He will.

You don't have to figure everything out right now.

You don't need to have all the answers.

If something stirred in your heart while you were watching or reading — that's not nothing.

That is the Holy Spirit gently knocking on the door of your heart.

Stay right here. There's no rush. The Spirit doesn't pressure or hurry.

Watch another video. Read a little more. Take your time.

When you're ready — even if “ready” just means a little curious — Jesus is ready to meet you.

You don't have to clean up your life first.

You don't have to pass any test.

You only need to say a simple “yes” to Him.

He will take care of the rest.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Luke 11:9

You might also connect with

Nia — testimony

Nia

I was a dark-skinned girl who hated herself, always trying to be validated by people around me, living a lifestyle I shouldn't have been living. I changed my eye color, my hair, chased relationships — but I always had a big friend group and felt so empty inside.

Corey — testimony

Corey

I was a 40-time convicted felon who spent 17 years incarcerated — a drug smuggler, thief, and dealer who believed I could never be good enough for God. I always had insecurities, feelings like I was never enough, and I ran from God into every kind of crime and chaos.

Sequoia — testimony

Sequoia

I was a stripper and an escort who hadn't been sober since I was 18. I felt like trash. I was angry, full of shame from childhood violation, and I thought my life had no meaning. I was being trafficked and beaten, and the only way I could do the work was to stay intoxicated.

Christa — testimony

Christa

I was a shamanic healer and love addict cobbling together an identity from tarot, spirit guides, and relationships with men. I was in pain all the time — like an open canker sore — and I was convinced I was working for the light while I was actually an agent of the enemy.

Yesupadas — testimony

Yesupadas

I was an Untouchable boy treated worse than an animal, a committed communist who made a blood covenant to bring revolution to India. I was drinking, in gangs, cutting people, saw dead bodies — and I was happy doing it because I thought I was taking revenge.

Omar — testimony

Omar

I was a fatherless kid from the projects who adopted a fake identity to hide where I came from. I chased women, cocaine, and alcohol for years trying to fill an emptiness I couldn't name. I had a failed marriage, kids I couldn't raise, and I felt like I was screaming for help from inside a dark cell and nobody could hear me.

Britney — testimony

Britney

I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I was introduced to porn at 14, became very promiscuous, danced, did webcam, cheated on partners — I was ashamed of so much. I knew about Jesus but I didn't really know Jesus.

Chris — testimony

Chris

I was a software engineer and startup guy who rejected Christianity as antiquated, then spent years trying every psychedelic, energy healer, Buddhist retreat, and New Age practice I could find, convinced I could engineer my way to enlightenment and heal my grief on my own terms.

“They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.”

Revelation 12:11