Steve

“I stabbed myself in the neck and stomach after a demonic voice promised me 50,000 fewer years in hell — and then I actually went there and saw it was real.”

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What they struggled with

Drug addiction Suicide attempt Occult involvement Demonic oppression Near-death experience

False refuges

Religion without relationship Drugs

What this story reveals about God

Relentless pursuit Unconditional love Mercy Shepherd's heart Father's heart Restorer

Religious background

Main testimony theme

Near-death experience

Secondary theme

How they came to faith

Supernatural encounter Relational influence

Content advisory

Before you watch

This testimony contains graphic descriptions of a suicide attempt including self-stabbing, a clinical near-death experience, and a vivid firsthand account of hell. What makes it worth watching is the specificity: Steve describes hell not as a concept but as a place he stood in — and the voice that called him back.

What this story teaches

People can be deeply, sincerely religious for years and still never encounter the living God — and the moment they do, everything they thought they knew about themselves is overturned in an instant.

How God moved

Go Deeper

People can be deeply, sincerely religious for years and still never encounter the living God — and the moment they do, everything they thought they knew about themselves is overturned in an instant.

What you can take from this

If you have been told — or have told yourself — that you are basically a good person who does not need forgiveness, ask yourself honestly this week: what would it mean if that were not true, and what would you do about it?

Counterfeit spirituality

Buddhism presented itself as a genuine path to God and nirvana, keeping Steve in fervent religious practice for twelve years with no real encounter with the divine. The monks taught that sins could be forgiven through reincarnation over millions of years — a counterfeit of grace that produced no relationship.

Spirit of death

A demonic entity appeared as a trusted Buddhist grandfather figure and offered Steve 50,000 fewer years in hell if he sacrificed his life. Steve wrote a farewell letter to his mother and carried out the attempt — stabbing himself in the neck and stomach. The devil urged him to act quickly when police arrived.

Progressive entrapment

Isolated from his Buddhist community at college, Steve fell in with drug-dealing friends. Within one summer he escalated to smoking a death bowl — heroin, cocaine, PCP, and methamphetamine — for 10 straight days, 240 hours without sleep, losing his mind and becoming vulnerable to demonic encounter.

Other

Within the first month after conversion, Steve returned to drinking, raving, and nightclubs. He tried to live with one foot in the world and one in the gospel. God used a series of car accidents to discipline him out of this lukewarm pattern.

1

I said the sinner's prayer that day in 1998 ten times in that room — not just what they told me to say — Jesus come into my life, I believe you died for my sin. I thought about what I saw and I was like can I say that again because I'm not coming back down there.

2

I started reading the Bible — I've read it about 80 times the whole Bible cover to cover. I went to seminary — Talbot School of Theology — for about five years.

3

My brother was trying to hide the Buddhist little things in his little drawer and I was like hey you need to take that out we're gonna burn that up.

John 14:6

Steve cites this as the definitive answer to universalism — Jesus is the only way to the Father.

Hebrews 12:6

Steve references God disciplining those he loves as the framework for his post-conversion trials and car accidents.

Hebrews 12:14

Steve cites 'without holiness no one will see the Lord' as God's reason for progressively cutting off his sinful habits.

1 John 3:18

Steve references loving in action and truth — contrasting the church's love with the Buddhist temple's refusal to help.

John 17:3

Steve quotes 'this is eternal life, that they may know you the only true God and your son Jesus' in his closing prayer.

John 10:10

Steve references 'the thief came to steal kill and destroy — I came to give life and life to the fullest' in his closing prayer about the spirit of death.

Revelation 21:2

Steve describes the New Jerusalem descending from heaven as a golden cube, confirming his vision of heaven against scripture.

Matthew 3:17

God the Father's voice in Steve's heaven dream quoted 'This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased — listen to him.'

Like Paul, Steve was actively opposing the truth, had a dramatic supernatural encounter, and was immediately converted and called to preach.

Steve was clinically near death, spiritually dead in Buddhism, and God breathed new life into him through surgery, prayer, and encounter.

Steve's heaven vision directly mirrors Revelation 21 — the New Jerusalem descending as a golden cube, the Bride of Christ.

Steve hit rock bottom in a foreign land, was met by the Father's love through the church, and returned to lead his whole family home.

Steve's Christian Walk

His mother was saved and baptized within a week. His brother came to faith the same year. His father was saved ten years later and became a fervent evangelist. His cousins, uncle, aunt, and ex-girlfriend all came to Christ one by one. Steve laid down his plans to be an attorney, completed five years at Talbot School of Theology, and entered full-time ministry planting churches.

I gave my life to Buddha it didn't work he left me the monks left me — I said the sinner's prayer that day 10 times.

No more drugs and no more Buddhism — the voice commanded it and Steve never returned to drug use after the encounter.

No more drugs and no more Buddhism — those were the exact words he heard. He was set free from drug use (a death bowl of heroin, cocaine, PCP, and methamphetamine laced on marijuana), from Buddhism and its spiritual deception, and from the spirit of death that drove him to attempt suicide.

Prayer

The power of Prayer — mother's one Christian friend stood in the gap for Steve.

Steve's mother had only one friend in Southern California — a woman named Mrs Kim who attended Grace Church in Fullerton. When Steve attempted suicide, his mother called her. Mrs Kim mobilised eight pastors and prayer warriors from Grace Church who came to the hospital and interceded for Steve throughout his eight-hour surgery. The doctor later said finding the cut blood vessel was a miracle. Steve credits this intercession as the reason he survived.

Is today your day?

Yes — I'm Ready

Absolutely, He will.

You don't have to figure everything out right now.

You don't need to have all the answers.

If something stirred in your heart while you were watching or reading — that's not nothing.

That is the Holy Spirit gently knocking on the door of your heart.

Stay right here. There's no rush. The Spirit doesn't pressure or hurry.

Watch another video. Read a little more. Take your time.

When you're ready — even if “ready” just means a little curious — Jesus is ready to meet you.

You don't have to clean up your life first.

You don't have to pass any test.

You only need to say a simple “yes” to Him.

He will take care of the rest.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Luke 11:9

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