Christine

“I shouted at my ceiling at a God I didn't believe in — and he answered me using the meaning of my own name.”

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What they struggled with

Father wound Childhood sexual abuse Self-harm Suicide attempt Shame Loneliness / isolation Family rejection Religious trauma

False refuges

Religion without relationship Searching for love Achievement / fitness

What this story reveals about God

Father's heart Relentless pursuit Patience Restorer Unconditional love Provider

Religious background

Buddhism Agnostic

Main testimony theme

Secondary theme

Deepening Faith

How they came to faith

Supernatural encounter Relational influence

God accusation

Content advisory

Before you watch

This testimony contains childhood sexual abuse from age four, a father's suicide, years in the foster care system, self-harm, and multiple suicide attempts — described with honesty but not graphic detail. What makes it worth watching is Christine's ability to look back at what she once called a tragedy and see, with stunning specificity, a God who was present in every dark chapter she couldn't even remember.

What this story teaches

People who believe they are mistakes don't stop existing — they just spend their lives trying to prove they weren't, or trying to disappear. God seems to specialize in finding people who have been told they shouldn't exist and writing their name into his story anyway.

How God moved

In Christine's story, God shows up not as a rescuer who prevents suffering but as a presence who absorbs it — holding a little girl through things so dark she couldn't remember them, and then giving her the ability to look back and see he was there all along. He is a father who keeps showing up in the name of every man named Ron, in every car given, in every stranger who sees something worth loving.

The lie Christine carried

I was a mistake. My life had no value. People like my parents shouldn't have children — and I was proof of that.

What Jesus showed her

Christine carried the core wound that she was a mistake — a life that shouldn't have been born, unwanted by her mother, abandoned by the system, labeled felon and orphan and broken. She believed her very existence was an error, and that belief shaped every choice she made for nearly 40 years.

Go Deeper

Maybe you're in the system right now or maybe you have been and maybe the system let you down and maybe it didn't provide a way for you to exist in society easily or maybe you made poor choices. For whatever the reason, maybe you found yourself tangled in the criminal justice system and you now have a label attached to you for life. It is my hope that my testimony will speak to you, that you will see that you do have worth, that God, he created you on purpose and he loves you and he desires to have a relationship with you. He knows you by name. And maybe he didn't spell it out literally for you, but he did for me. And because I was able to meet him, I know he means it for all of us. He loves us. And he intends to walk through life with us. Each of our stories, he's with us whether we see him or not.

People who believe they are mistakes don't stop existing — they just spend their lives trying to prove they weren't, or trying to disappear. God seems to specialize in finding people who have been told they shouldn't exist and writing their name into his story anyway.

What you can take from this

If you carry a label from your past — a criminal record, a diagnosis, a family's verdict on who you are — write it down this week, and next to it write what God says about you instead. Christine's turning point was the meaning of her own name. Yours may be closer than you think.

Core lie

I believed I was a mistake and that my life had no value. Because my father committed suicide, I thought that was a valid option. The enemy convinced me that I had every right to believe that the world was evil, that everybody else was to blame.

Isolation pattern

The enemy convinced me that I wasn't worth their love — so I left Dave and Nancy who had cared for me like family. I also distanced myself from my father's family, feeling unworthy of their love and feeling as if I didn't belong. Of course, now I know that was the enemy telling me I didn't belong.

Counterfeit spirituality

I started going to a counselor who introduced me to Buddhism. I started practicing Buddhist principles trying to find my own peace and find my own way. The further I clung to this false religion, the more I dug in, the more I tried to find myself, the further I fell from peace.

Generational demon

Generational trauma is a term because it exists in families — people's mistakes travel through families, reverberate, and those can be felt. The same was true for me, was true for my mother, was true for her mother.

1

I fell to my knees. And in that moment, I asked God. I asked Jesus Christ into my heart because I knew that he was real.

2

I was able to forgive those who have hurt me, those who have injured me. I've been able to see my parents for the flawed, broken humans that they are and how the absence of Christ impacted their lives.

3

God has restored our relationship. My uncle Bob is my uncle. He is my very best friend. Once I came to Christ, I was able to reconnect with him.

4

About 18 months after I accepted Christ, God had put on my heart to share that decision with my mother and my sisters. And so I wrote letters to each of them just telling them how I found Christ, how it had transformed me. And I apologized for any hurt that I had caused them.

Christine explicitly identifies with the unnamed bleeding woman — carrying labels all her life, then Jesus stopped, named her, and called her daughter.

Christine describes God repeatedly acting as father to her — through Dave, through the man named Ron who recruited her, through provision at every turn.

Christine fled her marriage and ran from God for nearly 40 years; God waited and restored her fully upon her return.

Christine's Christian Walk

Marriage to Joe restored and recommitted after years of separation; bought a home together. Relationship with estranged uncle Bob fully restored — they share dinner every weekend. Reconnected with grandfather before his death in 2023. Able to forgive her mother and see her parents through a lens of compassion. Rekindled relationship with oldest sister. Freed from the identity of victim and the labels of orphan, felon, and unwanted.

I am healed. I am whole. I am not broken.

Prayer

The power of Prayer — Uncle who shared his faith on Facebook stood in the gap for Christine.

Uncle Bob, a near-stranger on Facebook, persistently shared his convictions about God's intention for every life to be born — posts Christine deeply resented. His refusal to argue back and his continued quiet witness provoked her to take her anger to God himself, which became the moment of her conversion. A second bridge was Dave, a volunteer at a homeless shelter in Salisbury, Maryland, who saw something in Christine, taught her to drive, bought her her first car, and cared for her like family for 3–4 months — telling her about Jesus. Christine found out after her conversion that Dave had died on her birthday in 2020, and she holds the hope of telling him in heaven that she is there because he told her about Jesus.

Is today your day?

Yes — I'm Ready

Absolutely, He will.

You don't have to figure everything out right now.

You don't need to have all the answers.

If something stirred in your heart while you were watching or reading — that's not nothing.

That is the Holy Spirit gently knocking on the door of your heart.

Stay right here. There's no rush. The Spirit doesn't pressure or hurry.

Watch another video. Read a little more. Take your time.

When you're ready — even if “ready” just means a little curious — Jesus is ready to meet you.

You don't have to clean up your life first.

You don't have to pass any test.

You only need to say a simple “yes” to Him.

He will take care of the rest.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Luke 11:9

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