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Nathan

“I was a drug dealer selling pounds of marijuana and ordering MDMA on the dark web — then Jesus appeared to me in a vision.”

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What they struggled with

Drug addiction Occult involvement Demonic oppression Shame Pornography Spiritual warfare (post-conversion)

False refuges

Drugs New age Achievement / fitness Searching for love Power / status / wealth

What this story reveals about God

Relentless pursuit Patience Restorer Defender Father's heart Grace

Religious background

Roman Catholic New Age / spirituality

Main testimony theme

Secondary theme

Deliverance and freedom

How they came to faith

Gradual journey Supernatural encounter

Content advisory

Before you watch

This testimony moves through drug addiction, drug dealing, new age involvement, and two years of severe demonic oppression including sexual assault in dreams and intrusive voices — described in specific detail. What makes it worth watching is Nathan's account of waking up one day simply free, and the way God redeemed every dark chapter into a calling.

What this story teaches

People searching for identity and spiritual experience in the new age are often genuinely hungry for God — they just have the wrong address. The enemy exploits that hunger with counterfeits that look spiritual but leave people emptier than before.

How God moved

The lie Nathan carried

I never knew who I was — I always struggled with identity and just became whoever I was around.

What Jesus showed him

Nathan carried a fractured identity his whole life — never knowing who he was, shaped entirely by whoever he was around, with no father figure to teach him right from wrong. His core wound was the absence of a father's love and the resulting void he tried to fill with drugs, belonging, and performance.

Go Deeper

To walk with Jesus means to be obedient to everything he says. It means to surrender your entire life to him. It means to not just make him savior of your life, but make him lord of your life. He is 100% good. He will never lead you astray. And he is worthy of every ounce of effort and second of your time on this earth in complete devotion to him. His plans for you are good. If you're out there and you're in recovery and you're still struggling, God wants to take you from recovery and bring you into fully recovered. And it's only by his power and by his blood that you can do that. I tell my wife to this day, if you start to see me start to not pray as much or be in the word as much or just start to kind of walk away from God in any way, it is a matter of time before I'm going back to those things because it's only through intimacy with God and through Jesus that I'm able to stay free from those things because my soul is filled in him.

People searching for identity and spiritual experience in the new age are often genuinely hungry for God — they just have the wrong address. The enemy exploits that hunger with counterfeits that look spiritual but leave people emptier than before.

What you can take from this

If you have been using substances, spiritual practices, or relationships to fill a void this week, ask yourself honestly: has any of it actually worked? Then try the prayer Nathan prayed — 'God, if Jesus is your son, I want to know. Please show me.'

Spirit spouse

I was experiencing very demonic dreams. I was getting raped in my dreams from demons. And a lot of bad things were happening to me. I would have sleep paralysis. It was scary for me to go to bed.

Self-condemnation cycle

I'd be in the middle of Bible study and there'd be a pretty girl over here on the left and I wouldn't be looking at her and then she'd talk just because it's about the Bible. And I'd look her direction and then I'd hear in my head 'pervert' and I'd look away and I would hear 'look back, look back, look back, look back.' And I'd look back and the demon in my mind would say, 'See, I told you you were a pervert.'

Progressive entrapment

From marijuana to mushrooms, from mushrooms to LSD, from LSD to cocaine, from cocaine to ecstasy, from ecstasy to Adderall. And next thing you know, I'm addicted to everything. I'm doing it all. I'm bound to addiction and I have no idea that I am.

Counterfeit spirituality

The psychedelics started making me feel like I was a very spiritual person. I really started getting involved even deeper with psychedelics, really started soul-searching, really started asking myself these questions. I was meditating, getting involved with the law of attraction, crystals.

Identity theft

I never knew who I was and always struggled with identity. I just looked to the people around me and I did what they were doing. I didn't have a really good father figure growing up. I didn't really know right from wrong very well.

Counterfeit intimacy

Coming from idolizing my ex-girlfriends, smelling their shirts when they're not around, and just putting them on a pedestal, and making my life all about them.

1

God, if Jesus is your son, I want to know. Please show me.

2

I took all the drugs in my possession. I gathered them up. I threw them into the trash can and I said, 'God, I surrender my spiritual faith to you. I don't need these psychedelics to experience you. And I don't need these drugs to make money anymore. I'm going to surrender my financial faith to you, too.'

3

I decided that I was going to get baptized in Mexico and that's exactly what I did.

4

My mentor at the time, he said that he had some experience in doing this and he wanted to help me. In that session, I had repented for psychedelic use, had just forgiven some people. And I really felt like there was some freedom in that moment.

5

I just went home and I was like, why do I have these pictures? And I just started deleting all of them. Why do I have these notes? I just need to get rid of them. Like I need to burn them... I was reading them one last time... I heard this voice say like, you don't have to get rid of that one. And I was like, that's not God. I'm getting rid of these now.

6

I said out loud, I remember it. I said, 'Could this be demonic?' And when I said that, it was like the snap of a finger. Everything got a hundred times worse.

Nathan, actively pursuing a spiritually destructive path, receives a direct vision of Jesus commanding him to stop — a decisive turning point encounter.

Nathan spent years in rebellion, addiction, and false identity before returning to the Father and finding his soul's fulfillment restored.

Nathan's gradual restoration from emptiness, addiction, and demonic oppression to full life mirrors the dry bones coming alive by God's Spirit.

Nathan's Christian Walk

Completely free from all drug addiction and drug dealing. Has not watched pornography in seven years. Married his wife Stephanie. No longer addicted to anything. Depression and anxiety gone. Owns a legitimate landscaping business. Leads a young adults group. Preaches the gospel at raves sober.

If anyone isn't in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things have passed away. Behold, all has become new. That's my life.

Prayer

The power of Prayer — hippie-looking stranger at a young adults group stood in the gap for Nathan.

A man with long curly hair who looked like a hippie came into the young adults group, asked Nathan about himself, and became the only person in Nathan's life to say directly: 'Nathan, I know that I just met you, but I'm here to tell you right now that you're doing the new age, and I'm here to tell you that Jesus is the way.' He also shared that he had heard the audible voice of God say that Jesus is his son. They became friends and continued attending worship nights and Bible studies together.

Is today your day?

Yes — I'm Ready

Absolutely, He will.

You don't have to figure everything out right now.

You don't need to have all the answers.

If something stirred in your heart while you were watching or reading — that's not nothing.

That is the Holy Spirit gently knocking on the door of your heart.

Stay right here. There's no rush. The Spirit doesn't pressure or hurry.

Watch another video. Read a little more. Take your time.

When you're ready — even if “ready” just means a little curious — Jesus is ready to meet you.

You don't have to clean up your life first.

You don't have to pass any test.

You only need to say a simple “yes” to Him.

He will take care of the rest.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Luke 11:9

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