Abby

“I took 14 or 15 pills of ecstasy in one night, and heard a courtroom in my head — the devil reading my charges, until a voice I didn't know said, 'Give me one year to prune this tree.'”

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What they struggled with

Drug addiction Alcohol addiction Shame Bereavement / grief Demonic oppression Loneliness / isolation Suicide attempt Serious illness / cancer Family rejection

False refuges

Drugs Alcohol Sexual behaviour Identity / performance Searching for love

What this story reveals about God

Relentless pursuit Patience Father's heart Shepherd's heart Restorer Defender

Religious background

Roman Catholic Atheism

Main testimony theme

Secondary theme

Deliverance and freedom

How they came to faith

Supernatural encounter Hitting rock bottom

Content advisory

Before you watch

This testimony contains graphic descriptions of drug overdose, sexual assault, a husband's death by self-immolation, and a daughter's fentanyl death — all told by a woman who is inexplicably at peace. What makes it worth watching is not that the suffering resolved, but that Abby is still standing and still choosing Jesus after losing everything twice.

What this story teaches

People can maintain extraordinary external functioning — good grades, careers, normal appearances — while carrying profound internal chaos. God reaches into that hidden world, not the presented one.

How God moved

The lie Abby carried

I had no identity — I was always seeking where I fit, always feeling different, always trying to become whatever the environment expected of me.

What Jesus showed her

She had spent her entire life with no identity — always performing, always hiding, always becoming whatever the environment expected — and never knowing who she was apart from the roles she played. The courtroom vision named her sin and her lostness explicitly before Jesus claimed her.

Go Deeper

You can do this. You can turn to Jesus. You can say 'I need help.' And he will help you. Your family can be rescued. It doesn't matter what has happened or how far — as long as there's breath in their lungs, there's hope. Don't give up on your kids. Don't give up. We can pray and believe and share and love and trust that God has them. The more we try to keep that mask on, the more that we tried to hide, the more that we tried to push — that's where it keeps in darkness. And that's what the enemy wants us to do is to be silenced. But the more we speak and share, the more healing happens.

People can maintain extraordinary external functioning — good grades, careers, normal appearances — while carrying profound internal chaos. God reaches into that hidden world, not the presented one.

What you can take from this

If you are hiding a double life this week — performing for the world while falling apart inside — tell one person the truth about what is actually happening. The mask is the enemy's tool; the truth is the beginning of freedom.

Core lie

No identity really, no knowledge of who Christ was or who I was in Christ. I was always seeking where I fit, always feeling different, always trying to become what the environment expected.

Progressive entrapment

From marijuana at 14 to alcohol, ecstasy, LSD, cocaine, rohypnol, and nitrous oxide by age 21. Each environment pulled her deeper. She was used by drug dealers to carry drugs into clubs, escalating her exposure and entrapment.

Generational demon

I can see now especially generational things that come into our life and until we can recognize and break that it's a field ground for the enemy. My daughter fell into the same pattern — honor roll, seeking identity, sexual assault, drugs. My son also used marijuana and alcohol. The same cycle of abuse and pattern that I had.

Secrecy and double life

My parents had no idea. Nobody knew. I was good at hiding it and being what the world or whoever thought I should be. I was a dancer, I was drinking, I was going to school — a two-sided life. I was good at hiding things and being like everything's okay.

Unnamed entity

I started to hear a growling and gnashing of teeth in my head in my ears. I remember going in the bathroom, staring in the mirror. I was speaking some other language that I didn't recognize. Nobody in that house knew.

Spirit of death

The devil was in my head saying 'I took your husband. I took your daughter. I couldn't take you, but I'm going to take your son.' After my daughter died I wanted to die. I turned to alcohol thinking 'Just take me out, God. Just take me out.'

Family weaponisation

The blended family was a source of ongoing pain — the stepchildren didn't want anyone taking their dad, the adoption plan fell through, her kids stopped calling her husband dad. The word divorce came up. Me seeking where I fit. Now I'm rejected again. And then what we do is we seek things outside of marriage.

1

I told him, 'Tell me about God. I need to know about God.' And I took all the drugs I had. I flushed them down the toilet.

2

If this is real, you need to prove this to me. I don't understand, but this is what it says to do. So I'm going to follow instructions. I'm going to believe that you're the son of God, Jesus, and that if I confess my sins and if I turn to you that you will — you can save me. I need you to save me.

3

I remembered a church that I would always go by near one of the strip clubs that I danced at. And I remember going in there and they were doing communion and the person had a devil on the front and an angel on the back saying 'You need to choose.' And in that moment I said, I choose Jesus. I don't want the devil. I don't want that anymore. And so I took communion for the first time.

4

Okay, God, I forgive him and I give him back to you. I release him to you.

5

After those two weeks that I was just wanting to die, I heard God say 'Get up.' And I did it again. And that's when he got me back into where I am with you today.

Exodus 20:1–17

Abby read the Ten Commandments from a stolen Bible after her NDE and recognized her guilt, initially thinking she could earn her way back to God.

Job 1:1

Her therapist read from Job replacing Job's name with Abby's name — moments before she received the call that her daughter had died.

Psalms 22:1

Abby found her first husband had a Bible open to the Psalms on the stove when he died — he was crying out to God in his final moments.

Revelation 12:10

Abby references the devil as the accuser, God as judge, and Jesus as defense attorney — drawn from her courtroom vision and later confirmed by scripture.

John 15:1–6

Jesus's words in her courtroom vision — 'Give me one year to prune this tree. If this tree can bear fruit, it's mine. If not, you can burn it' — directly echo the vine and branches passage.

Deuteronomy 31:6

Abby quotes God promising 'he was never going to leave me or forsake me' — a direct echo of this promise, applied to both herself and her daughter Kaye.

Abby spent years in a far country of drugs, dancing, and hiding, then came to herself in a moment of crisis and returned to the Father.

Abby was stopped mid-path by a divine encounter she could not explain or resist, resulting in immediate life transformation.

After losing husband and daughter, Abby was brought back to life and ministry from what appeared to be complete devastation.

Her therapist literally read Job with her name inserted moments before her daughter's death — the parallel was named explicitly in the testimony.

Abby's NDE life review and subsequent conversion mirror the death of the old self and rising to new life in Christ.

Abby's Christian Walk

Flushed all drugs and stopped using immediately after conversion at 21. Completed her psychology bachelor's degree. Built a career as a licensed therapist. Her son gave his life to Jesus, was baptized, and now calls her to pray before work. Her marriage survived the loss of her daughter and is described as stronger than ever. She returned to work two weeks after her daughter's death.

It's like he set me free. It's like he finally got my attention — better than any high I had ever felt in my life.

All drugs — ecstasy, LSD, cocaine, marijuana, rohypnol — flushed down the toilet the night of her conversion and never returned to. The desire was gone.

He set me free — from the drugs, the dancing, the double life. I flushed them down the toilet and I wasn't going to use alcohol like that again. He plucked me out. I was delivered from four years of ecstasy, LSD, cocaine, marijuana, alcohol, and the identity of a dancer. After my daughter died I turned to alcohol for two weeks and then Jesus said 'Get up' and I put it down.

Prayer

The power of Prayer — nun who appeared at her apartment door stood in the gap for Abby.

A nun in full habit appeared uninvited at Abby's apartment door while she was smoking marijuana and working as a dancer. Abby opened the door and let her in. She cannot recall what was said, but remembers it years later as God trying to get her attention — 'he knew that I would recognize the nun because I wouldn't have known anything else.' A second bridge: friends who had invited her to church during her drug years, which she laughed off but later saw in her life review as moments God was reaching for her.

Is today your day?

Yes — I'm Ready

Absolutely, He will.

You don't have to figure everything out right now.

You don't need to have all the answers.

If something stirred in your heart while you were watching or reading — that's not nothing.

That is the Holy Spirit gently knocking on the door of your heart.

Stay right here. There's no rush. The Spirit doesn't pressure or hurry.

Watch another video. Read a little more. Take your time.

When you're ready — even if “ready” just means a little curious — Jesus is ready to meet you.

You don't have to clean up your life first.

You don't have to pass any test.

You only need to say a simple “yes” to Him.

He will take care of the rest.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Luke 11:9

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