Joshua

“I was a Christian evangelist who took mushrooms to investigate the spirit realm — and ended up in a courtroom in heaven while demons argued they had the legal right to take me.”

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What they struggled with

Drug addiction Occult involvement Demonic oppression Spiritual warfare (post-conversion)Shame

False refuges

Plant medicine Drugs

What this story reveals about God

Relentless pursuit Unconditional love Mercy Father's heart Defender Forgiver

Religious background

New Age / spirituality Protestant Christian

Main testimony theme

Deepening Faith

Secondary theme

Deliverance and freedom

How they came to faith

Supernatural encounter Hitting rock bottom

Content advisory

Before you watch

This testimony contains vivid descriptions of demonic encounters, a heavenly courtroom vision, and a near-death spiritual experience triggered by a post-conversion decision to take psychedelics. What makes it distinctive is the raw honesty of a committed Christian evangelist describing how pride and curiosity opened a door he could not close — and what it cost him to get back.

What this story teaches

People often reach for spiritual experiences because they genuinely want truth — and the enemy is sophisticated enough to give them real encounters that contain just enough truth to keep them searching in the wrong direction. Hunger for God is not the problem; the door you use to enter matters enormously.

How God moved

Go Deeper

I'll say two things. To the people that are in Christ that feel any type of condemnation or shame — I want to tell you that God is way better than we know, way better than you could ever imagine. I still don't even know the full goodness of God. But I do know that after that encounter I learned that Jesus is never upset with me — Jesus is always speaking life, he's always speaking more, he's always speaking truth. And to those in the new age, in psychedelics — those things are lies. They're never going to lead you to life and they're always going to keep you ensnared. I promise you if you call on Jesus on one of these encounters or one of these experiences, you start calling on Jesus as Lord — because Jesus is king — you'll find out they're never going to lead you to life.

People often reach for spiritual experiences because they genuinely want truth — and the enemy is sophisticated enough to give them real encounters that contain just enough truth to keep them searching in the wrong direction. Hunger for God is not the problem; the door you use to enter matters enormously.

What you can take from this

If you or someone you know is using psychedelics as a spiritual path, this week ask one honest question: does this experience leave you with something clean and solid to stand on, or does it always leave a residue of uncertainty and a need for more? Compare that to what you know of Jesus.

Counterfeit spirituality

Psychedelics gave just enough truth to keep you going down the rabbit hole and just enough lie to keep you bound. Spirit beings would teach things that sounded good — universal truths, self-awareness — but there was always a hook at the end keeping you bound to something. Satan introduces himself as a being of light.

Spirit of condemnation

In the heavenly courtroom, a lead demon stood and declared: 'We're tired of this kid. He keeps coming to our kingdom and taking people out, and then he came back and ate off our table.' The accusation was that Joshua had broken a spiritual law and they were coming for legal justice.

Spirit of death

I could feel my organs shriveling up. I could feel life just fully leaving my body. I felt like I was dying. Darkness was caving in on me. I felt encircled by death — death ensnared me. I knew if I got dropped from this hand I was done.

Shame spiral

In heaven, Joshua felt the host of heaven were disappointed with him. Angels were shaking their heads. He felt so much shame and condemnation — even while Jesus was walking with him proudly — that he begged never to preach again and retreated to the lowest part of heaven.

Core lie

The lie that psychedelics could be used as a spiritual tool for truth-seeking — that Joshua could enter the spirit realm with his authority in Christ, command beings to reveal themselves, and come back with intelligence to help his ministry. The framing made disobedience feel like evangelistic research.

1

I said Jesus I made a big mistake but you're my lord my savior. I said I give up. I surrendered to your hand. And I went limp.

2

I started praying in tongues. God have mercy, God have mercy, Lord forgive me. I start praying in tongues and it would be like it was bad but I'd stay there and then I noticed if I stopped I would feel like darkness consumed me again.

3

I need to be here for my family. Like I don't know what to do, I've cried out for mercy. God I need to be here for my family and for every person in my life that you've called me to help — forget about me.

4

Oh my gosh please have mercy please have mercy... God have mercy God forgive me like what like I'm sorry.

Hebrews 10:31

Joshua quoted 'to fall into the hand of the living God is a dreadful and fearful thing' while describing being held in God's hand during the vision.

Psalms 73:25–26

Came to Joshua supernaturally in heaven while he felt shame — 'whom do I have in heaven besides you' — revealing Jesus is all heaven has and needs.

Psalms 88:15

Joshua referenced 'in your hand I have been spent' to describe his complete exhaustion and helplessness while held in God's hand.

Zechariah 3:1

Joshua identified this as the scripture that matched his vision — the devil at his right hand accusing him, and God declaring him not guilty.

2 Corinthians 12:4

Joshua referenced Paul's 'things unlawful to utter' when describing the flood of revelation he received in heaven that he couldn't contain or repeat.

Genesis 2:17

Joshua compared psychedelic spiritual experiences to eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil — truth mixed with lie, never leading to life.

1 Corinthians 9:22

Joshua cited Paul becoming all things to all men as his justification for wanting to understand psychedelic spirituality in order to minister to those in it.

Joshua literally experienced what Zechariah 3 depicts — the devil at his right hand accusing him before God, and God declaring him not guilty and claiming him.

Joshua, already a believer, deliberately strayed into forbidden territory and was received back by Jesus with joy and forgiveness rather than condemnation.

Joshua explicitly named this: 'I built my own tower of Babel to get this' — seeking divine revelation through human means rather than God's appointed way.

Joshua received floods of revelation in heaven he could not contain or repeat, directly paralleling Paul's experience of unlawful-to-utter things.

Joshua's central revelation: psychedelic spirit beings are Satan presenting as a being of light — enough truth to bind, enough lie to keep you there.

Joshua's Christian Walk

The demonic encirclement and death pressure — 'I started feeling the pressure of like death start to release me.' Also physical: 'I puked my guts out, filled three plastic grocery bags, like pulling my very insides out.'

The fear and curiosity around psychedelics — 'I fear him now... I just see it as pure death.' Delivered from the demonic oppression that encircled him during the mushroom experience. Set free from the doubt about Jesus being the only way.

Prayer

Is today your day?

Yes — I'm Ready

Absolutely, He will.

You don't have to figure everything out right now.

You don't need to have all the answers.

If something stirred in your heart while you were watching or reading — that's not nothing.

That is the Holy Spirit gently knocking on the door of your heart.

Stay right here. There's no rush. The Spirit doesn't pressure or hurry.

Watch another video. Read a little more. Take your time.

When you're ready — even if “ready” just means a little curious — Jesus is ready to meet you.

You don't have to clean up your life first.

You don't have to pass any test.

You only need to say a simple “yes” to Him.

He will take care of the rest.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Luke 11:9

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