Joel

“I was a missionary training others to go to the nations while my own marriage was silently falling apart — and I couldn't fix it.”

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What they struggled with

Divorce Shame Unforgiveness Relationship breakdown

What this story reveals about God

Restorer Father's heart Patience Faithful to his word Unconditional love Healer

Religious background

Protestant Christian

Main testimony theme

Deepening Faith

Secondary theme

How they came to faith

Relational influence Gradual journey

Content advisory

Before you watch

This testimony contains no graphic content but carries real weight — a missionary's marriage ending despite 13 years of fighting to save it, and the shame of failing publicly in a ministry context. What makes it worth watching is Joel's unflinching honesty about regret, and the specific, hard-won three-word roadmap God gave him through the wreckage.

What this story teaches

People in ministry are not protected from the same relational failures as everyone else — and the shame of that gap between calling and reality can be the very thing that keeps them from getting the help they need.

How God moved

Go Deeper

The story's not over. You know, a lot of people are hurting a lot and maybe you think it's permanent. Maybe you think this is unfixable. I would say it's not and it's going to get better whether it gets better through things truly falling apart like it did for me or things getting reestablished like it did for me or real healing in the relationship which I did not experience. I know that God wants to bring restoration and healing and transformation and redemption in everybody's story. And it is never too late. There's a lot of things that we as humans cannot fix in our lives. But God fixed those things. Even if you haven't experienced God fixing the things that are beyond your reach right now, don't give up. Your story's not over. There is hope. But keep a soft heart. Be willing to forgive. Be willing to say you're sorry and mean it. To make things right and not just try to gloss over what's gone on. If we're sincere before the Lord and to one another, God can do incredible powerful things.

People in ministry are not protected from the same relational failures as everyone else — and the shame of that gap between calling and reality can be the very thing that keeps them from getting the help they need.

What you can take from this

If you are carrying unforgiveness in a relationship, name one specific thing this week you have not yet forgiven and choose to release it — not because it was okay, but because the pile is heavier than you think.

Progressive entrapment

It was just unforgiveness and just little by little chipping away at our marriage, chipping away at trust, at confidence, at love. Unforgiveness piled on top of each other can be a bigger mountain than any of those other things. After years of things piling up, it gets to the point where no amount of counseling will just wipe that away.

Shame spiral

I felt like people are going to be disappointed in me. I was under this shame and this kind of imposed silence of not being able to tell the people around me. I felt like my whole family was in ministry doing all these great things and here I was as a missionary with my relationship just falling apart.

1

I stood up and I had tears rolling down my face and I knew that it was a moment that was so real — abandonment is the word I'm trying to find. Knowing that my plans that I had had for my life were now in the rearview mirror and all of that was out there and open hands holding them out to God and saying I'm ready to go wherever you want me to go.

2

A year of humility and being transparent to all the people around me. It helps to be real with the people who are real with you, who really love you and really care about you. I had the opportunity to start to share to the people in my life, my family, and some of my close co-workers.

3

In that second year of stability began. To me that meant create a stable home life, take care of these kids, do everything that I've got to do. I'm going to do that and make sure that they are okay, that they know that they're loved.

4

Almost to the day of the beginning of that third year is when I met my wife, my current wife Benedicta. She's from Norway and it was just this special moment. It was so clear that God had brought her for that period of restoration.

Joel, like the prodigal, hit rock bottom in shame, returned to humility, and experienced unexpected restoration and new family life.

Joel explicitly draws the parallel between his divorce pain and God experiencing relational rupture with Israel yet never abandoning hope for reconciliation.

Joel's marriage appeared irreparably dead; God brought new life, a new family, and restored purpose from what seemed like total loss.

Joel's Christian Walk

Prayer

The power of Prayer — praying community and family stood in the gap for Joel.

During Joel's worst moments, family, fellow missionaries, and co-workers came around him without condemnation — sitting with him, praying with him, counselling him, and calling him to deeper honesty about what he was experiencing. His brother moved to the island to help with the children. This sustained communal support was the human structure through which Joel walked the three-year process of humility, stability, and restoration.

Is today your day?

Yes — I'm Ready

Absolutely, He will.

You don't have to figure everything out right now.

You don't need to have all the answers.

If something stirred in your heart while you were watching or reading — that's not nothing.

That is the Holy Spirit gently knocking on the door of your heart.

Stay right here. There's no rush. The Spirit doesn't pressure or hurry.

Watch another video. Read a little more. Take your time.

When you're ready — even if “ready” just means a little curious — Jesus is ready to meet you.

You don't have to clean up your life first.

You don't have to pass any test.

You only need to say a simple “yes” to Him.

He will take care of the rest.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Luke 11:9

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