Jenny

“I walked as a man, identified as a man, and was about to marry a woman — then Jesus appeared at a church altar with his arms open and I saw myself as his daughter for the first time.”

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What they struggled with

Childhood sexual abuse Drug addiction Alcohol addiction LGBTQ background Self-harm Suicide attempt Shame Demonic oppression Loneliness / isolation

False refuges

Alcohol Drugs Sexual behaviour Searching for love Self harm Religion without relationship

What this story reveals about God

Relentless pursuit Unconditional love Patience Restorer Defender Father's heart

Religious background

Protestant Christian

Main testimony theme

Secondary theme

Deliverance and freedom

How they came to faith

Supernatural encounter Hitting rock bottom

Content advisory

Before you watch

This testimony contains graphic descriptions of childhood sexual abuse from age three, rape, cocaine addiction, self-harm, two suicide attempts, and 17 years of LGBTQ identity. What makes it worth watching is the specificity of how Jesus dismantled each wound at its root — and the moment at a church altar where a woman who looked like a man saw herself as a daughter for the first time.

What this story teaches

People do not always choose false identities out of rebellion — sometimes wounds from childhood create openings that the enemy fills before a person has any language for what is happening to them. The behaviour is almost always downstream of a wound that was never named.

How God moved

The lie Jenny carried

I'm not good enough — I'm always going to be tossed aside, somebody else will always be chosen over me, and I wasn't included.

What Jesus showed her

Jenny carried a core wound of rejection and abandonment — planted when her abuser replaced her with someone else at age 10 or 11, reinforced by infant separation from her mother, and compounded by a church that taught her to perform rather than belong. She believed she was fundamentally not good enough and would always be tossed aside. Jesus named this at the altar and showed her she was his daughter.

Go Deeper

Let Jesus love you. What happened to you is not who you are. And learning your true identity is what's going to keep you not trying to find the love and acceptance and validation from other people or from other groups or whatever it is you're searching for. What you're searching for is only going to be fulfilled with the love of God. It's only going to be fulfilled by walking with him daily. So my advice to you is to sit down with Jesus. Whether you even know him, even if you don't like him, even if you've been hurt by the church, understand that the church is not Jesus. The church has humans that are broken in themselves, but they're not Jesus. Sit down with him. Begin to write out your life. Understand what happened to you. Understand what happened to you is not who you are. Forgive. Ask Jesus into your life. Ask him to help you heal in ways that only he can help you heal. Your validation and fulfillment is not going to come from anywhere else. Trust me, I walked 17 years trying to find validation and fulfillment in everything else but him. It wasn't until I allowed him to validate me that I became free.

People do not always choose false identities out of rebellion — sometimes wounds from childhood create openings that the enemy fills before a person has any language for what is happening to them. The behaviour is almost always downstream of a wound that was never named.

What you can take from this

This week, ask yourself honestly: what is the earliest moment you remember feeling like you were not good enough or would be replaced? Write it down and bring it to God — not to perform healing, but to let him show you where the wound actually started.

Core lie

I functioned a lot of my life from being bad because of that. Being bad was one of the greatest roots of my life because it was present in my mindset that I wasn't good enough, that I was always going to be tossed aside. Somebody else was always going to be chosen over me.

Spirit of perversion

I was opened up to such a spirit of perversion at a young age. When perversion in the church occurred, all that did was feed that perversion that was in me. So by the time I came to 17, I had a very strong root of perversion.

Identity theft

I woke up one day and all of a sudden realized I no longer wanted to be with men. I was so convinced that that's who I was supposed to be that I thought God created me to be that way. A few days later I woke up convinced that I was the man trapped in a woman's body and walked my life out that way for 17 years.

Progressive entrapment

It started out as just having fun in college parties. But I started drinking more and more. And I was introduced to drugs. From the moment that I did my first line of cocaine, there was no rational thinking at all. I gave up the one thing I'd wanted all my life — to be a parent — for cocaine and a stripper.

Spirit of condemnation

I still was very dealt with depression, wasn't sure I even belonged in this world. I can't do anything right. Like I can't even take my own self out at this point. The mindset really started to set in.

Spirit of death

I took an entire bottle of Ambien in attempts to end my life. I woke up the next morning as if nothing had ever happened. I remember trying to kill myself there as well again — I took a whole bottle of Benadryl and woke up the next morning as if nothing had happened.

Secrecy and double life

No one knew that I had these issues. No one knew what was going on in my life. I was very good at having a poker face or putting on a persona that things are really really good in my life.

Unnamed entity

It was as if every demon in hell that I had ever partnered with, the chains were wrapped around me. And that momentum was pulling me backwards. It was like a literal fight. The people from that night will even tell you I looked like a zombie walking because of the physical power that I had to pull myself with to try to get there.

Relational sabotage

I had such a root of rejection and such a root of I can't be alone. I'm not good enough. I have to go immediately — I could not be alone at all. So I immediately went into the next relationship.

1

I stood up and I stood out in the aisle and Jesus was just standing there at the altar with his arms open. I literally just laid at the altar in my father's arms for about 45 minutes just cried. I didn't understand what was happening, but I didn't care what was happening because I knew where I was and I knew I was with him.

2

I told the Lord, 'If I'm not supposed to do this, I need you to blow that up so that I don't have to. Like, you're going to have to help me here cuz I don't know how to do it.'

3

I went on this journey with God where we would just spend time together. I called it my serious chair — my prayer chair or my chair in my prayer closet where I would just sit with him and he would begin to show me different events in my life that had occurred and where the enemy had gained access.

4

I was scrolling through Amazon and this book appeared — Thou Shalt Expel Demons by Derek Prince. I ordered it and it just completely blew my mind as to why we didn't talk about these things in the church.

5

Forgive. Ask Jesus into your life. Ask him to help you heal in ways that only he can help you heal.

Proverbs 23:7

God quoted this to Jenny to explain why her body had stopped functioning as a woman for 17 years — she had believed herself to be a man.

Ephesians 6:12

Jenny quotes 'we wrestle not against flesh and blood' twice to explain why she learned spiritual warfare and how to fight for identity.

Acts 2:21

Jenny closes her prayer quoting 'call upon the name of the Lord and they shall be saved' as an invitation to viewers.

Philippians 2:5

Jenny closes her prayer asking that viewers 'have the same mind that is in Christ Jesus.'

Genesis 1:27

God's words to Jenny at the altar — 'you were made in my image' — echo the creation declaration that she was made female in God's image.

Jenny grew up in the Father's house, wandered into a far country of addiction and false identity for 17 years, then returned to find the Father running to embrace her.

Jenny was living in direct opposition to her true identity when a sudden divine encounter reversed her entire self-understanding in a single moment.

Jenny's body had ceased functioning as a woman for 17 years; after conversion, God restored her physical cycle as a sign of full restoration.

At the altar, Jenny received a new identity — daughter — replacing the false name she had carried for 17 years.

Jenny's Christian Walk

Jenny's same-sex relationship ended and she left the cocaine and alcohol lifestyle. She moved back to Kentucky with her job and income supernaturally preserved — her employer offered remote work at the same pay. Her monthly cycle, absent for 17 years while she identified as male, returned. She stopped self-harming and suicide attempts ceased. She now lives openly as a woman and daughter of God.

The blinders came off my eyes. For the first time in my life, I saw myself as the father created me to be. And that was his daughter.

The chains of every demon she had partnered with — described as physically snapping when she reached the front row of the altar. The false identity of being a man trapped in a woman's body was instantly removed as the blinders came off her eyes.

Cocaine addiction, alcoholism, same-sex attraction, identifying as a man trapped in a woman's body, self-harm (cutting her stomach), suicide attempts, a spirit of rebellion, a spirit of perversion, rejection, abandonment, depression, anxiety, and the root of 'I'm not good enough.'

Prayer

The power of Prayer — Praying parents stood in the gap for Jenny.

Jenny's parents were instructed by God in November — two months before her January conversion — to open their church at midnight every night for the entire month and pray, but specifically not for their own children. They prayed for other people's children nightly for 30 days in obedience. Jenny is convinced the fruit of that obedience was her being set free in January.

Is today your day?

Yes — I'm Ready

Absolutely, He will.

You don't have to figure everything out right now.

You don't need to have all the answers.

If something stirred in your heart while you were watching or reading — that's not nothing.

That is the Holy Spirit gently knocking on the door of your heart.

Stay right here. There's no rush. The Spirit doesn't pressure or hurry.

Watch another video. Read a little more. Take your time.

When you're ready — even if “ready” just means a little curious — Jesus is ready to meet you.

You don't have to clean up your life first.

You don't have to pass any test.

You only need to say a simple “yes” to Him.

He will take care of the rest.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Luke 11:9

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