Ashley

“I was a certified Reiki master deep in law of attraction and manifestation — and then I fell to the floor in my kitchen and the scales literally fell off my eyes.”

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What they struggled with

Drug addiction Alcohol addiction Occult involvement Demonic oppression Shame Loneliness / isolation Fear / anxiety

False refuges

Alcohol Drugs Sexual behaviour New age Occult practices

What this story reveals about God

Relentless pursuit Patience Shepherd's heart Restorer Defender Father's heart

Religious background

Protestant Christian New Age / spirituality

Main testimony theme

Secondary theme

Deliverance and freedom

How they came to faith

Supernatural encounter Gradual journey

God accusation

Content advisory

Before you watch

This testimony moves through years of New Age involvement, occult doors, demonic sleep paralysis, and a vivid dream of the Lake of Fire — but it is ultimately a story of someone who was genuinely seeking truth and found it in the most unexpected moment. The post-conversion encounters are intense but Ashley tells them with clarity and gratitude rather than fear.

What this story teaches

People who are genuinely hungry for truth will find it — but often only after exhausting every counterfeit. The New Age phase was not a detour from Ashley's search; it was the final stage of it, and God used even that to bring her to the end of herself.

How God moved

The lie Ashley carried

I am ugly and unlovable as I am — I would have sold my soul to be beautiful; I hated myself and just wanted to fit in.

What Jesus showed her

She had believed since age seven that God didn't love her or like her — because he didn't respond to her letter — and spent decades filling that rejection wound with celebrities, alcohol, promiscuity, and New Age practices, never realizing the missing piece in her heart was him.

Go Deeper

I would say to the viewers — when you're with the Lord he wants to protect you. He does not want you to be a part of this stuff. He does not want you opening these doors because if you open doors to the spiritual realm expect to be tormented and expect to be scared and expect to have your life be in shambles. You're never going to get anywhere doing that. It's not going to help you, it's not going to heal you. You're not talking to past loved ones when you go to a psychic — you're talking to demons and that's all it is. And again the Lord wants to protect you from that so don't open those doors in the first place. It does not matter how broken you are — you could be the most broken person to ever exist but you're never too broken for the Lord. He's in fact looking for broken people. No one that is born again is born again because they were in a great place in life — most of the time it's because they are deep in sin, deep in pain, deep in hurting, and just feeling like they have nowhere to turn. And that's when you need to call on him — and that's when he's like 'let's go, let me take care of you, let me be your refuge.' You're never too broken for him, ever.

People who are genuinely hungry for truth will find it — but often only after exhausting every counterfeit. The New Age phase was not a detour from Ashley's search; it was the final stage of it, and God used even that to bring her to the end of herself.

What you can take from this

If you are in any spiritual practice that promises peace but keeps you running in circles — this week, pause it for one day and ask the God of the Bible to show you if he is real. Just one day. See what happens.

Counterfeit spirituality

I was deep in law of attraction, law of assumption, manifestation, crystals, Buddha, Reiki — all of it. I read thousands of books, watched hundreds of YouTube videos. I didn't realize that what I was actually seeking was a relationship with Jesus. I never actually healed anything. I was on a hamster wheel running in circles.

Unnamed entity

I had sleep paralysis as a child. I had a ghost as a child — when I was about two years old I would go to my parents' room and cry and scream. Once I was saved I looked back and realized I was attacked many times spiritually.

Unnamed entity

I felt an oppression on me when I lived in Pittsburgh my whole life. That area has a dark energy to it — it's very heavy. I could feel it on me my whole life. I was oppressed. Every time I go back there I can feel the heaviness again.

Unnamed entity

In Charleston after visiting a haunted bar, I went through sleep paralysis around 3-4 in the morning. I saw the girl from the photo — she almost took on my appearance — holding me down, scratching me, attacking me, pulling my hair. I couldn't move, I couldn't scream. My unsaved friend had the same dream simultaneously.

Progressive entrapment

I went from idol to idol — celebrities, then parties and boys, then promiscuity, weed, binge drinking all the way to my early 30s. Then I gave those up and had a new idol — New Age and healing. I was on a hamster wheel going from the next thing to the next thing.

Spirit of condemnation

I always felt like there was a dark cloud over me — like that little Zoloft commercial guy walking around with a dark cloud over him. That's kind of how I felt all the time. Even after being born again I still had what felt like an oppression or a depression on me.

1

I fell to the floor in my kitchen — it was an instantaneous Saul to Paul situation. I just cried and repented and asked for forgiveness for two weeks straight. I did not leave my apartment. I just sat here on this couch and just prayed and cried and sought the Lord.

2

I cried and repented and asked for forgiveness for two weeks straight.

3

I ordered a Bible on Amazon and I had never read it but I kept saying out loud 'this is the way, this is the truth, this is the way, this is the truth, Jesus is the way.'

4

I decided to do a 10-day fast with the Lord. I just had a feeling that I would be delivered from depression if I could do this with him.

5

He had me remove things from my life that didn't honor him — yoga, binge drinking, social media. He was showing me things that I was doing that I needed to change in order to be happier.

1 Corinthians 12:2

Ashley cites this to explain her idol-to-idol pattern before knowing God — going from celebrity worship to New Age.

John 14:6

Ashley had been saying 'Jesus is the way' before reading the Bible and was stunned to find Jesus had literally written this in her heart before she read it.

Jeremiah 31:33

Ashley cites God's covenant to write his word on hearts as exactly what happened to her — she knew the truth before reading it.

Psalms 55:22

Ashley cited this during her 10-day fast — cast your cares on the Lord for he will sustain you — as her anchor through the fast.

Ashley explicitly names this parallel herself — instantaneous conversion, scales falling from eyes, sudden sight of truth she had been blind to.

Ashley knew John 14:6 verbatim before reading the Bible — she cites Jeremiah 31:33 as the exact fulfillment of this in her own life.

Ashley explicitly quotes this verse to describe her own progression from celebrity worship to New Age as the pagan idol pattern.

Ashley spent years running from God through idols and New Age before coming to the end of herself and returning to the Father.

Ashley's Christian Walk

Delivered from binge drinking, promiscuity, weed, New Age practices, lust, codependency, and depression. Anxious-avoidant attachment style transformed to stable and secure. No longer depressed. Quit social media as an idol. Feels peace, joy, and happiness daily that she never had before. No longer needs to control everything or soothe herself through external things.

I knew that I was brand new, I knew that things were changing, I knew that the Holy Spirit was dwelling in me now — I became a new creation.

Prayer

The power of Prayer — Christian YouTuber whose video appeared in Ashley's algorithm stood in the gap for Ashley.

A Christian woman posted a YouTube video titled 'Why the law of attraction works and I'll never do it again as a Christian.' It appeared in Ashley's algorithm while she was deep in New Age. She ignored it for weeks but eventually clicked on it out of curiosity — and that video, with its scripture and verses, was the moment she fell to the floor and was born again.

Is today your day?

Yes — I'm Ready

Absolutely, He will.

You don't have to figure everything out right now.

You don't need to have all the answers.

If something stirred in your heart while you were watching or reading — that's not nothing.

That is the Holy Spirit gently knocking on the door of your heart.

Stay right here. There's no rush. The Spirit doesn't pressure or hurry.

Watch another video. Read a little more. Take your time.

When you're ready — even if “ready” just means a little curious — Jesus is ready to meet you.

You don't have to clean up your life first.

You don't have to pass any test.

You only need to say a simple “yes” to Him.

He will take care of the rest.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Luke 11:9

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